


Five Times I Kissed You Wrong (And One Time It Was Perfect)

by im_ashamed



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Trans Male Character, trans!bow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26742799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_ashamed/pseuds/im_ashamed
Summary: Glimmer and Bow, through the years, through the kisses, through it all.Modern/non-fantasy AU. Playfully messy.
Relationships: Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It has come to my attention that I never say that Bow is wearing a crop top in this fic, but I assure you he is wearing a crop top in every scene. 
> 
> Bow is described with she/her pronouns for the first two chapters because he hasn't come out yet.

1.

It was summer, Glimmer was ten, and she knew her own mind so well she could act without thinking. 

Bow was also ten, and her mind was as uncontrollable as Glimmer. 

They were in Glimmer’s backyard. Their parents and several of Bow’s brothers were on the deck (at this magnitude, made of eco-friendly fake marble, was it, in fact, a pavilion?) lingering over dinner, wine, and conversation in the summer twilight that was rapidly going from pink to deep blue.

Glimmer was beautiful in the dusky light. She was beautiful in all lights, and from all angles. Bow didn’t want to look like her, but she wanted to feel like her; She wanted to walk like she had never feared that the earth might not rise up to meet her steps. 

The two of them were off in a corner of the yard by the slightly overgrown fountain Angella only ran when there were guests to impress. There was something eerie to its silence. The hedges of blue and purple hydrangeas turned towards it as though thirsty. Waiting. 

“I don’t want to go back to school,” Glimmer groaned from where she lay, face down on the grass. Bow half expected her to start kicking her legs and throw an honest-to-god tantrum, but instead she rolled over and laughed. “I’m pretty excited, though.”

Bow was idly fingering a clump of hydrangea petals. “I can’t believe they’re letting you take home ec,” She said. Not that she was really surprised. It was rare that Glimmer didn’t somehow get what she wanted. 

Glimmer pursed her lips in imitation of her mom. “It’s not home ec, Bow, it’s ‘Life Skills’.” 

“That’s stupid,” Bow said as she plopped down in the grass beside Glimmer, “If they’re letting you play with knives and fire, no one’s getting out alive.”

Glimmer laughed and shoved Bow so hard she nearly knocked her over. “Oh my god, you’re the one who’s going to spend your elective shooting arrows. Your fingers are gonna fall off, and I’ll have a new skirt, and then I’ll be the one making fun of you.”

Bow flexed her fingers against the ground, pushing dirt under her nails. “You’ll be like a princess. Up in a tower, baking cookies, and I’ll be swinging all over the forest and shooting bad guys in the face.”

Glimmer swung up into a sitting position-Glimmer was the only person Bow knew who could make perfectly mundane things like sitting up look like a fancy gymnastics move. “No, I want to be in the forest with you! You’ll be shooting bad guys in the face and I’ll be punching them and setting them on fire and stuff.”

“You’d set the whole forest on fire!”

Glimmer shoved Bow again, but this time she held onto her after, so they laughed while rocking from side to side like marbles in a newton’s cradle.

Then they were just sitting there, Glimmer’s arm around Bow’s shoulders. Patches of Bow’s skin prickled with heat like the second before you start sweating: Her cheeks, her neck, the inside of her knees and elbows. But the line along her shoulders where Glimmer’s arm lay was warm in the same soft way as an August sunset. 

“Bow?” Glimmer said, and there was a catch in her voice, a true hesitation. Bow couldn’t remember the last time she directed that tone at him. If at all. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

Laughter rose from the pavilion. Bow could pick out the sound of each person at the table, from George’s full belly bellow to Angella’s sensible chuckle. It was good to know they were close. There was no problem they wouldn’t rush to fix with one well-pitched scream. 

“Remember when we were watching Jem and the Holograms, and Jem told Shana she loved her, and your Dad said they were lesbians?”

“He said they dressed like lesbains,” Bow corrected.

Glimmer flailed the arm not currently around Bow. “Oh my god, Bow, I’m trying to tell you something!” She let out a gusty sigh, but didn't say anything more. 

Because she didn’t have to. Bow had known Glimmer since they were six. She divided her memories into when she knew Glimmer and when she didn’t. Glimmer can’t say something like that to Bow and not have Bow  _ know _ what she means. 

“You like girls,” Bow said. She turned slightly, so her nose almost touched Glimmer’s cheek. 

Another pause. There was the faintest sound of cutlery and crickets in the silence, but Bow wasn’t willing to break it. There’s more, and if she leaves space Glimmer will open her mouth to fill it. 

“And I like you.”

And then Glimmer had Bow’s face between her hands and she had their lips firmly pressed together. 

It lasted two seconds. Or, time being relative, it lasted long enough for Bow to smell Glimmer’s rose-candy shampoo, and the lamb they had for dinner, and memorize the pressure of Glimmer’s soft, warm lips against her own. It was just long enough for Bow to know she would never forget it, would be able to conjure this moment perfectly for years to come. 

And then Glimmer dropped her hands into her lap and looked at them like they had exhibited some very concerning behavior lately. 

“You like me,” Bow repeated, touching her tongue to the center of her cupid's bow. It was tingling like she spilled hot sauce right at the spot where the two curves came together. “And you like girls.”

Glimmer nodded, her eyes so wide when she finally looked at Bow that Bow had to laugh.

“I like you, too, Glim. Of course!”

The way Glimmer’s face lit up she outshone the rising moon. She was wonderful. This was wonderful. 

But it was not quite right. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

2.

It was February, Bow was thirteen, and somehow a stranger. 

Glimmer was sure this wasn’t how the world worked. Surely you grow closer to someone over time. It didn’t seem possible to her that they could be so close there was nowhere to go but far. 

“I can’t believe they won’t let us have a theme for the seventh grade social!” Glimmer said. She was sprawled on the plush carpet of the den, made plusher by it’s recent cleaning for christmas photos. Bow was flopped over a couch arm, looking down at her.

“It’s not like it’s prom or anything,” Bow said around the candy cane in her mouth. She’d gotten it off the tree that now dominated a quarter of the room. 

Glimmer slammed her fist against the floor, making an ineffectual _whump_ noise. “It’s like prom for us!” She didn’t actually care. She didn’t care about anything but the fact that Bow barely spoke to her anymore. Bow was her best friend, her girlfriend, and even though she still deigned to talk occasionally, Glimmer didn’t feel like they’d had a conversation in months. 

Bow tossed an errant braid over her shoulder. “You say that like we won’t go to prom.”

Glimmer didn’t know what to say to that. And Bow didn’t say anything more. Glimmer turned so that her nose almost brushed one of the lowest branches of the tree. Angella had it ethically sourced and as eco-friendly as possible because she simply couldn’t bear to spend the holiday season without the smell of fresh pine invading the house. 

She and Micah met at a Christmas party. She was the famously informal Birghtmoon social scene’s answer to a debutant and he was incredibly high on painkillers. He said she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, loudly, to her face, before announcing in the same blunt, bold way, that he could feel colors. He then tried to lean against a window and learned that it was open.

Angella drove him to the hospital because she had already decided she was going to marry him. 

Glimmer breathed in the sharp, cool scent of the tree, and an idea fired behind her eyes. She cracked them open to steal a glance at Bow. 

Bow was her girlfriend, her best friend, and if she wouldn’t tell Glimmer what was wrong Glimmer would just have to make her so happy she didn’t care what the problem was. 

* * *

The seventh grade social was in march because it was cheaper than fighting with other schools for prom space, although the official reason was so that the middle schoolers would actually pay attention to their finals. 

Luckily, Bow had a hair appointment early Friday morning, and didn’t get to school till second period had let out. It gave Glimmer plenty of time to arrange the collage on Bow’s locker. It was bright red and lacy as a valentine’s card, and had a pink and purple cupid under the word SOCIAL? which Glimmer had cut out of holographic purple paper. 

It was impossible to miss, but just in case Glimmer was standing in front of it with a bouquet of roses in sunset colors. The students that usually moved through the halls at whatever pace the congestion would allow slowed down and skirted around her, giving them plenty of time and space to stare. 

Glimmer held her head high, but her brows kept coming together in worry. She didn’t like all these people staring at her. She could feel their eyes like each gaze was a spider on her skin, but she refused to look foolish or scared. 

At least, she was trying. 

Given her vantage point and the way she was carefully scanning the crowd Glimmer should have had no trouble spotting Bow. 

She didn’t. But her eyes immediately bounced off the spot of sky blue because it wasn’t what she was searching for. Except, as it came closer, she realized it was. 

“B-Bow?” She stumbled over her name, not sure it was right. 

Bow approached slowly. It was perfectly clear what Glimmer was doing, but the look on Bow’s face said otherwise. It wasn’t confusion. It was an expression Glimmer refused to name for fear of how much that word would hurt her. 

“Your hair!” Glimmer blurted out, all thoughts of her nice little speech forgotten.

Bow stopped just in front of Glimmer. Her hair, which less than twenty-four hours ago had been in a black box braid below her shoulders was now buzzed close to her scalp and bright blue. It made it hard to recognize Bow’s face, even though Glimmer knew she couldn’t be anyone else. 

Finally Glimmer remembered what she was supposed to be doing, and she thrust the flowers out in front of her. “Will-will you go to social with me?”

Bow hesitated. That was fine, Glimmer had expected some shock, daydreamed about the way Bow’s face would slowly light up as she realized what was going on.

“I can’t,” Bow said in a pathetically small voice, like she was the one getting rejected. 

“What?” Glimmer replied in the same tone. 

“I can’t go to social with you Glimmer. I don’t even think I can be your girlfriend any more.”

Glimmer gaped at her, the bouquet hanging limply from her fingers. Bow grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into the empty music room a few lockers down. 

“What the hell?!” Glimmer yelled, wrenching her hand out of Bow’s grasp.

“Glim, I don’t think-it’s not about you. I don’t think I can be anyone’s girlfriend anymore.”

That wasn’t possible. There were certain things Glimmer knew with such certainty that they defined her world. Her father was dead. She was too loud no matter how quiet she meant to be. Bow was her girlfriend. 

She lunged into the kiss. With even a second of thought-but she didn’t give it a second. She kissed Bow the way you slap someone who is having hysterics. As though the shock of it could knock the sense back into her. 

It hurt. 

It hurt almost as much as Bow pushing her away, and more than the stumble that nearly rolled Glimmer’s ankle. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” Bow said, “I can’t be your girlfriend. I can’t be the person you want me to be.”

“What do you mean?!” Glimmer wailed, tears welling up in her eyes. She was clutching the flowers so tightly a stray thron was jabbing at her through the layers of tissue and cellophane. “How can I want you to be anything when I don’t even know who you are?!”

“I’m sorry,” Bow said, and she said it like she knew it was empty civility. That it meant nothing and solved nothing. 

Glimmer swallowed hard. If that was how Bow was going to be-saying nothing, admitting nothing, giving Glimmer nothing-then Glimmer wasn’t going to give her any more feelings to not return. She left the room without another word, roses abandoned on the teacher’s desk to create an embarrassing misunderstanding for someone else next period. . 

Glimmer ripped the collage down and spent the night tearing it up until she stopped crying. The collage wound up at the bottom of Glimmer’s trash can, each piece smaller than a fingernail. 


	3. Chapter 3




It was lacrosse season, Bow was seventeen, and he never wanted the season to end. This would be the last one he played. His last year of high school. The last time he would be with this group of guys in this sort of--

Fine, all he ever thought about was the fact that this was the last time Glimmer would cheer for him. 

Bow was a decent lacrosse player. A bit too tentative, but he made up for it by always having his eyes on the goal. 

Glimmer was a fantastic cheerleader. She could yell so every person in the bleachers heard her, wear a uniform like it was lucky to be stretched across her thighs, and when she jumped Bow swore she could fight gravity and win. 

It didn’t matter if the Stingers from Plumeria Tech were trouncing them. Bow still got to see Glimmer get thrown, spinning, into the air. There was a moment, at the top of her arc, when she stopped. Her eyes were squeezed shut, the dusty pink of her hair just barely brushing her eyelashes. Bow had time to count every strand curling across her cheek before the natural laws reasserted themselves and she came back down. 

It’s not Bow Perfuma runs to at the end of the game, even though she’s supposed to be his girlfriend. It’s fair, though. He was headed for Glimmer as well. 

“You were amazing today!” Perfuma said, clasping Glimmer’s hands in hers. 

Glimmer smiled at her, and Bow tried to ignore how forced it was. She didn’t like people she barely knew touching her. Forget that Bow had been dating Perfuma for almost a year. Despite the fact that he seemed to spend every waking moment with either her or Glimmer, they were rarely the same moments. 

“Thank you,” Glimmer said, just as Catra walked by and said, “Yeah, Sparkles, you didn’t choke, for once.”

“No, I actually got into the air because you’ve finally put some muscle on those noodle arms of yours,” Glimmer shot back.

Bow was about to roll his eyes when he saw how distrubed Perfuma looked. He put an arm around her waist and pulled her in so he could whisper, “Relax, they’re crazy about each other.”

“Shut up!” Glimmer yelled, even though she shouldn’t have been able to hear him. “Do you guys want to get pizza now, or what?”

Perfuma lit up. “Oh, can we go to Mama Lizzette’s?”

“Where are we going?” Catra yelled from the other side of the bleachers, near the entrance to the locker room.

“We’re not bringing everyone!” Glimmer yelled back, at the same time that Kyle, passing by, yelled, “Mama Lizzette’s!”

Catra made an incredibly rude gesture with her arm and laughed. “Hey, Kyle, just for that you can ride with me!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think there’s room in the trunk.”

That set the tone for the evening. 

It made sense, in the middle of all the boisterous behavior and constant verbal one-upping, that it wasn’t until they had trickled out into Mama Lizette’s parking lot that Glimmer realized she was missing her scrunchie. 

And it made sense, somehow, that it was Bow who should drive her back to the field to look for it. He was the only one who understood, at one frantic glance from Glimmer, the urgency of the errand. She clipped her father’s earrings to the scrunchy so she wouldn’t lose them during her routine. 

“So, of course I lost the scrunchy,” Glimmer said, with a laugh that quickly edged into hysteria 

Bow was trying to drive responsibly, but unease was coming off Glimmer in waves, and even he felt a little sick at the thought of her well and truly losing those earrings. 

“It’s okay,” He said, and put his hand out. He was watching the road, so he couldn’t be blamed for the fact that his hand landed on her knee, his fingers curling into the sensitive underside. 

But he didn’t move it. 

Glimmer sprinted across the green for the bleachers where the squad had congregated. Bow took a minute longer. The sun had just slipped below the horizon, but the May air was still soft and warm. 

“Do you have any idea where it might be?”

“It has to be out here, because I was only in the locker room for, like, a second after the game.”

Bow got on his knees and dutifully began checking under the lowest benches. He swallowed back the thought that they might not find the scrunchy. Glimmer wouldn’t just cry. She would be listless and guilty for weeks. She wouldn’t be the most defiant gravity defyer Bow had ever known-she wouldn’t be  _ herself _ for ages, and just the thought of it made Bow want to cry. 

“I found it!” Glimmer said, then shrieked. 

For half a second Bow thought it was a shriek of joy, until he heard her hit the ground. 

“Glim!”

By the time Bow rounded the end of the bleachers Glimmer was already sitting up. She had her scraped knee curled up towards her chest and was blinking back tears. Bow collapsed beside her and reached for her knee before remembering that wouldn’t help and pulling his hand back. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Glimmer said, before Bow could ask. She scrubbed at her face, then grinned at Bow, holding up her scrunchy and twirling it around her finger so the drop pearl earrings pinned to it glinted in the violet light. 

Bow heaved such a heavy sigh of relief that Glimmer laughed. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” He said, because he meant it. He meant to brush some dirt off her cheek, but as soon as he cupped her face he knew that wasn’t what he meant at all. 

Glimer’s mouth dropped open slightly. 

“Wasn’t it this exact time of day when you kissed me that first time?” Bow said. Which was categorically the wrong thing to say, since it had the words ‘Kiss’ and ‘Me’ in it. 

“It was August,” Glimmer said, “So it was probably later.”

“Oh.”

“But the last time I kissed you could be now.”

And then they were kissing. 

Bow could vaguely hear his conscious saying, “No, Glimmer, we can’t. This is wrong.”

He put an arm around Glimmer and gently tipped her back so that he was curled over her, his mouth still covering hers. 

Glimmer made a sound that she never made the fumbling times they attempted to kiss back in the seventh grade. Bow was sure of it, because if she had his twelve year old brain would have exploded. 

For a moment Bow wasn’t kissing her, just close to her, his nose running along the curve of her cheek. He could feel her breath on his lips though, and then she had her hands in his hair, pulling him back to her. 

Bow was trying to hold himself up a bit, mindful of Glimmer’s knee, and somehow this meant his left hand was resting at the top of Glimmer’s hip, his fingers edging under the hem of her sweat shirt. Her skin was cool against his, and it made him want to kiss her warm. 

Suddenly Glimmer gasped in pain. Bow reared back from her like she had burst into flames. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, did I-”

“You bumped my knee,” Glimmer said. She smiled and tried to laugh, but it was more of a wheeze.

“I don’t think you’re okay.”

“I’m-” Glimmer experimentally rocked her leg from side to side, then slowly extended it. Blood that had been pooling on her knee rolled down her skin. “I’m fine.”

Bow slowly helped Glimmer to her feet, and drove her home. Glimmer put on some music, old songs that crooned them home like well-worn lullabies. 

Bow was pretty sure he just cheated on his girlfriend, and that he was supposed to feel bad. 

He did. 

And then he looked at the little velvet bundle clutched between Glimmer’s hands, and one of the pearls that, like her, shone in any light. 

And he knew feeling bad wasn’t the same thing as feeling regret.

Bow pulled up in front of Glimmer’s house and she disconnected her phone from the radio. 

“Perfuma-” Glimmer began, and Bow saw the panic in her eyes. 

Perhaps he should have let her finish. 

But a boy who’s not yet man enough to say “Kiss me,” also isn’t quite ready to face what it means to have two (or five, or ten) feelings at a time. 

“I’m really glad you found your earrings,” He said. He watched the topic of him, and Perfuma, and Glimmer, close right in Glimmer’s face. 

She nodded. “I am too.”

Bow watched Glimmer climb the little steps to her door. Even in this absurdly nice neighborhood, when it was barely dark, he waited to see her step safely inside. 

Just before going in, she turned slightly and waved to him. 

But it didn’t comfort him like it should.


	4. Chapter 4




It was almost 3 am, Glimmer was twenty-one, and she was in love with everything. 

“This is the greatest city in the world,” She slurred as she and Bow swayed their way down the street. It wasn’t exactly dark. They were headed out of the University of Brightmoon’s main campus, but they were still close enough to the heart that the night was well lit by street lights, and the spotlights trained on the facades of university buildings. Sometimes just the sign was illuminated, as though someone might need to know that Johnny “Swede” Johnson once donated a ton of money to the chemistry department in the middle of the night. 

It was a good thing finals just ended, or it was likely there was some poor, overworked undergrad staring dead eyed at their computer, desperately in need of that exact fact. 

“Like, it is so beautiful here,” Glimmer continued. Convinced, in her state of mild intoxication, that she was spinning a great ode to her hometown. “It’s so warm. You know there are places that, like, by December they have, like, snowplowers out? But not us! You’re even wearing your sexy jeans!” 

She went to slap Bow’s ass and missed. 

Bow laughed and stumbled forward, choosing to lean against a street lamp rather than the rapidly destabilizing Glimmer. Glimmer took this as a cue to stop walking and stare at him. He was blurry, but it was fun, watching him waver. 

“Did that guy give you his number?” She asked. 

Bow let his head loll back on his shoulders. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That guy you were talking to! With the mustache.” Glimmer laughed. “Just so you know, if he had a goatee? We couldn’t be friends anymore.”

Head still bent back, eyes closed, Bow swatted vaguely in her direction. 

“We were just talking. He’s-he’s-”

“Your type.”

That got his attention. “I have a type?”

“Yeah,” Glimmer said, with the perfect confidence one has pre-asspull. “Adventurous. Annoyingly loud. Just...takes up way too much space.”

Bow rolled his shoulders a little, probably to loosen them after putting his neck at such an angle, but Glimmer did a shimmy in response. He smiled, gave her a little push along the front of her shoulders, and the next thing Glimmer knew they were dancing. Not waltzing, but not rhythmically grinding, either. They were rocking against each other, rolling their hips, pulling each other in and pushing away to a beat only they could hear. Their limbs were loose from the alcohol, and it felt good just to move them. 

Glimmer cracked her eyes, not sure when she closed them. Bow’s skin made the fluorescent yellow light sweeter than butterscotch. His smile kept the early morning chill at bay. And the proximity of his body was doing things to her body that were probably illegal until 1945. 

“You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen,” Glimmer said, words a little too loud and blunt. “We should go home together.”

“We are going home together.”

“I mean we should have sex.”

Bow hesitated. 

“I don’t want to ruin this,” He said, also a little too loud, but maybe that’s how important words should sound. We just aren’t always willing to say them properly and admit how important they are. “We’ve broken up before. I can’t go through middle school again. I can’t sit in silence because you’re not there and the only thing I want to hear is your voice.”

Glimmer fisted her hands in the front of Bow’s shirt. “You can’t say things like that to me and pretend you don’t love me.”

“Of course I love you, Glim. Why do you think I’m so scared of losing you?”

_ I’m right here,  _ Glimmer thought, but the words couldn’t reach her mouth. They were blocked by those old memories. Bow didn’t trust her to love him as much as her girlfriend. And boy did she fucking hate him for a while there. 

Was that the price? If they were too close, would she stop seeing who Bow truly was, and just think of him as her boyfriend, her husband?

Was it worth it?

“We can still go home together. We can go home together, and get up in the morning and say we were drunk and it was a mistake and we’ll never do it again.” She kissed Bow, and was relieved that, as terrible as the words sounded in her own head, the kiss felt good. Bow wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing her close. She sighed into his mouth and melted against him. With some aid from the streetlight he managed to stay upright and hold her even closer. 

Bow moved his head back the fraction of an inch necessary for him to say, “Okay. If-if you’re okay with that.”

_ No.  _ “I suggested it!”

Bow laughed and he kissed the top of her nose before they left. And that was almost as good as her drunken fantasies of proposals and undying love. 

Later, when she got to watch Bow softly snoring in the cool morning light, she would convince herself it was worth it. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pulls up on a tricycle with two wheels and spits out the Biden and Harris flag clenched between my teeth* Just wanted to say that this update is both longer and darker than uh...the entire rest of the fic. I wasn't sure if I should tag for major character death? But yeah, Angella dies and a lot of this is Glimmer dealing with grief (and this is me at my FLUFFIEST jfc) and I wanted to give you a heads up for that.  
> *honks clown horn attached to handle bars and somehow peels away at 30mph*




The world had ended, Bow was twenty-three, and he didn’t even know it yet. It was his day off from DrylTech, the local computer shop he worked at, and he had gotten lunch to catch up with Perfuma who was back in town for a few weeks. Quite a lot of the catching up had to do with the reason Perfuma was back in town: She had recently gotten engaged and wanted to spend some time with her family to begin the wedding planning. 

It was an hour well spent, looking at cutsey engagement pictures and listening to Perfuma find a thousand different ways to say ‘I love her’. 

Bow felt good as he got into his car. His phone rang, and he smiled at the sound of Glimmer’s ringtone. Whatever she said, he decided he would try to do something nice for her today, just to share in this good mood. 

“Bow?”

Bow’s heart dropped through the floor of his car. Glimmer’s voice was wet, shaky, and raw. She hadn’t just been crying, she had been crying and crying and crying, and had probably called him in the middle of crying. 

“What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“Bow!” She wailed, clearly unable to control her words. 

Bow blinked through the wave of visceral pain that hit him at the sound and managed to say, “Glimmer, you’re scaring me.”

“I’m-I’m at LightHope Medical. On-on fifth?”

Bow was already pulling out of the parking lot. 

* * *

In the weeks follow Angella’s death every piece of information Bow learned only made things more confusing. 

The story, as Adora told it, was that she had been out jogging. She passed Angella at the crosswalk. She considered stopping, but she finally had her heart rate up, and she didn’t see any cars coming. 

But there was a car coming. Did Angella notice it because she didn’t have headphones on? Because she was standing still? 

It didn’t matter. She pushed Adora out of the way. The car skidded when the driver slammed the breaks. Adroa had a huge bandage on her cheek where the asphalt tore it up and Glimmer had wounds deep enough to split her heart in two.

The worst of it all? After that first day when Bow met her at the hospital, she went quiet. She didn’t cry, but she didn’t laugh. Or talk beyond necessity. 

Some days it didn’t seem so bad. Bow got the okay from Entrapta to take some extra days off so he could help Glimmer with things. A few weeks later they were sitting in Angella’s office, cleaning, sorting through documents, drinking coffee that was two parts syrup, one part chocolate milk. The drinks were from Glimmer’s favorite coffee chain, Coffee Prime. As far as Bow knew, it was one of the only things she was eating, so he practically had a tab open at the location nearest her house.

Glimmer’s phone rang, startling Bow out of the reverie he was having in the general direction of Glimmer’s lipstick stained coffee cup. 

Bow had started to put a lot of mental energy into not noticing how much more make-up Glimmer had started wearing.

“We have to go to the florists,” She said, already grabbing her purse and checking if everything was in it. 

Bow had been on Glimmer forever to get just a little more organized. Keep her room clean, learn how to wash dishes. 

Now she was scarily streamlined, keeping such an exacting track of all the appointments she had that it was almost tangible how frightened she was of all the space in between. 

“You can choose the music,” Bow said as she got into his car. 

No music came on. 

Bow would glance over at Glimmer at stop lights and see her scrolling through her songs, but she didn’t choose anything. 

The florists was really fancy. All clean white surfaces and navy blue accents and fancy cups of tea while you wait. There were waxed and frozen flowers everywhere, but nothing that looked actually alive. No dirt, either, which bothered Bow although he wasn’t sure if it should be there or not. 

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” Said a tall woman as she swanned out of the back of the store. She was surprisingly rustic in comparison with the elegant surroundings, wearing jeans and a soft blue blouse, hair held back in one long plait. “I’m Mara.”

Glimmer shook her hand. “I’m Glimmer. We spoke on the phone.”

At that Mara’s face went a bit softer, and she lowered her voice a touch. “Yes, I believe you needed some funeral arrangements?” She placed her fingertips together in a way that reminded Bow-in a gutpunch of a mental flash-of how Angella sometimes held her hands. “I’m very sorry for your loss.”

Glimmer gave her a very blank look. “Well, you’re making money off of it,” She said, in a similarly blank way. It could have been a joke, or a snide remark, but she said it as though honestly confused by Mara’s condolence. 

Mara’s eyes darted to Bow, worry beginning at the edge of her expression. 

“Thank you,” Bow said, and nudged Glimmer’s foot with his own.

“We need a standing arrangement and a wreath to lay on the casket,” Glimmer said, as though whatever that little exchange was hadn’t happened. “Matching designs, based around hydrangeas and foxglove.”

Mara’s brow crinkled. “Foxglove can be hard to find. I could-”

“What does that mean?” Glimmer interrupted, her voice ticking up the first hill in a hysterical rollercoaster. “Can you get them or not?”

Mara paused, probably to think, but Glimmer took it as an invitation to keep talking. “Are you even really a florist? Maybe you murdered the real one, and just happened to pick up the phone when I called, so now you have to pretend-”

At that, Bow put her arm around Glimmer’s shoulders, lifted her from her chair, and practically carried her out of the store. As soon as they were out the door Glimmer threw his arm off and started walking down the street at a pace that required Bow to jog to keep up. 

“Okay, _what_ was _that_?” Bow asked, with just enough composure left to keep from swearing. 

“You can’t trust anyone,” Glimmer replied, too loudly, without looking at him, “Anyone could be someone else.” She stopped walking and turned abruptly so that Bow almost tripped over her. “Did you fuck my mom, too?!”

A few people sitting outside at the restaurant they had just passed turned to stare. 

Bow’s possible reactions flicked past like a movie on fast forward: Laugh, scream, leave Glimmer standing here on the street, completely mad and completely alone.

He put his hands on her shoulders and was relieved that she let him. “Glimmer,” He said, voice as calm as he could make it without being patronizing, “You know I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Glimmer paused, shuddered, and then her face split and the tears came.   
Bow pulled her into a hug, cradling her head with one hand so her sobs were muffled in the crook of his neck. Her whole chest was shaking so he could almost hear her ribs rattle. It was frightening, but the way her nails were digging into his upper arm made him feel like she might not shake to pieces. 

Even if she did, he would collapse with her. He’d follow her to the sulfurous pits of hell, or the cold vacuum of space.

Damnit. This was _so not the time_ for that kind of realization. 

Eventually Glimmer’s tremors eased and her tears went down to the steady drip of a busted sink. Bow loosened his grip and pulled back to look at her. He could feel her tears soaking through the collar of his shirt and leaving a cool spot on his neck.

“You feel a little better?”

Her mouth opened and nothing came out but a soft breath. But her eyes looked a little steadier, like she at least wanted to say yes. 

“Why don’t you tell me about it in the car?”

Glimmer nodded and held his hand for the walk back. Her hand was soft and sticky, and felt exactly like it had when they were ten years old and she was dragging him through the creepy little forest at the back of her house. She was often laughing then, but there could be an edge of fear to it when the long summer twilight suddenly became night. 

Bow didn’t feel like they were out of the woods when they reached his car, but it reminded him of the moment when they would turn, and the slight glow that came with a break in the trees became visible. 

“I went to see Adora,” Glimmer blurted out once they were in the car. “I mean, I, like, tracked her down to her apartment, and then I texted her and told her I was at her apartment.” Glimmer giggled, and it almost sounded like a real giggle, even tinged with tears. “Uh, I’m pretty sure I threatened her, but she probably won’t take me to court over that text.”

“She talked to you?”

“Yeah. We walked to this weird bodega down the street and she bought a sandwich which was shitty _and_ overpriced-”

“Glim.”

Glimmer took a quick breath. “Okay, so I told her I knew she was lying about what happened and she-I just need you to understand, she said this while eating this _disgusting_ sandwich, like, it looked like chicken but it smelled musty? Anyway, she said she had some huge fight with a friend of hers, like, in the middle of the street, and mom gave her a tissue- and just when I’m thinking, oh, maybe she’s just been weird because her friend was there and she doesn’t want to talk about that-She says, ‘Anyway, that was back in October, and Angella and I have been seeing each other ever since.’”

Bow shot Glimmer a look of shock. “By ‘seeing each other’ she meant…?”

“I...She said they weren’t together, they would just talk about queer stuff. So I said, ‘My mom isn’t queer’, and-and the look she gave me-!”

“But were they-were they-”

“I don’t know!” Glimmer shrieked, voice breaking into an octave only cats could hear. “I couldn’t ask!” She slumped in the seat, and her breathing was heavy for a moment as she regained her control. 

At this point Bow wasn’t going anywhere except the city limit of Brightmoon. He signaled despite there being no other cars on the road, and made a just barely legal u-turn to head back towards the city. 

“I don’t know,” Glimmer repeated, mostly to herself. “Honestly? I don’t think so. She didn’t even say ‘queer stuff’, it was more like-” Here Glimmer broke into an imitation of Adora’s deep, yet slightly nasal tone- “‘uh, sexuality, and, uh, you know, liking, uh, girls’.”

Bow nodded. “That must be...I can’t imagine how you’re feeling.”

“Oh, there’s more.”

“Jesus!” Bow said, in just such a way that Glimmer actually laughed. 

“She said…”

Bow floated in the silence, waiting. He took a turn that would eventually lead to Glimmer’s house. 

“She said she’s been having a lot of trouble with...I don’t know, her mom, and her scholarship-she’s in college right now- and she, um,” Glimmer had to take another fortifying breath. “She said she ran into the street on purpose.”

Bow nearly slammed the breaks in surprise. He managed not to, but wound up jerkily pulling into Glimmer’s driveway. He turned the car off and the abrupt lack of engine noise seemed appropriate for such a revelation. 

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Me either.” Glimmer almost laughed, but it turned into tears. 

Bow leaned over the center console and wrapped his arms around her. She wasn’t crying as hard this time. If the first bout had been a dam bursting, this was the aftershocks. Natural, but not quite as fraught. 

After a few minutes Glimmer was able to sit up and wipe her eyes with the back of her hands, leaving shimmering trails of eyeshadow on her skin. She got out, and Bow followed her to her door, where she stopped and turned to him. 

“I think I want to be alone for while.”

“You sure?”

Glimmer nodded. 

“If there’s anything you need, just text me, okay?”

Glimmer looked like she wanted to say something, and Bow waited, assuming she thought whatever she wanted was too trifling to bother him with. 

“Would you kiss me?”

Bow blinked in shock. “Oh.”

Glimmer shook her head and started digging through her purse for her keys. “Sorry, sorry, forget it. You don’t have to do that.”

Bow touched her cheek and she stopped rambling. Just looked up at him with bright, hopeful eyes. 

It felt so good to see hope in her eyes. 

Bow kissed her. She leaned against him, and he felt tension ease from her body. He liked sharing her breath as it calmed and slowed. She relaxed inch by inch, slow and steady and beautiful as a sunrise. 

Eventually she wasn’t kissing him anymore, but her cheek was pressed against his chest. He had one hand on the small of her back. His nose was buried in her rose-scented hair. 

“I love you.” She said, in a voice smaller and more delicate than a hatchling. 

And then she tried to pull away from him, jamming her key at the door in a desperate attempt to be gone before the words could completely sink in. 

They didn’t need to. It may have shocked Bow to hear them, especially right now, but they weren’t new. He was ten years old when he first knew they were there, whether they were spoken or not. 

He threw his arms around Glimmer, stopping her, pulling her back to his chest, putting her close to his heart. 

“Glim, why are you running away when you know I love you too?”

She twisted slightly so she could put her face against his neck again. “I’m not sure I could handle it just now,” She whispered. 

“Well, then, I’ll be here tomorrow. And probably the day after.” Glimmer was already shaking a little, but Bow added, “Although, the day after that I have to turn up for work or Entrapta will finally get to replace me with an android.”

Glimmer laughed right in Bow’s ear. It was the best thing he’d ever heard.


	6. Chapter 6

6.

It was summer, Glimmer was twenty-five, and the three days she spent decorating the house was worth it. 

Glimmer had no misplaced pride in her ability to handle everything. She got Mermista to make flower arrangements because when asked she was the only person who did not immediately recommend Renegade Blooms (She recommended the 12.99 for 12 long stem roses place on the intersection of Lyon and Conch, which didn’t even do events, but still). Bow got a professional to make a small, elegant cake that was designed to be delicious rather than impressive and inedible. 

Glimmer attempted to find a dress at an incredibly exclusive store in town, staffed exclusively by bone-thin women.They tried over and over to hide Glimmer’s curves from sight in bone white dresses with white gems that glittered cold and cruel. After five separate fights, one of which nearly came to blows, Glimmer collapsed on the couch, groaned, and swore she would accept the next dress she saw that could cover her tits and crotch at the same time. The next thing she knew Perfuma had arrived, with dresses thrifted, crowd sourced, or otherwise found. One had a sweetheart neckline, a floofy asymmetrical hem, and was a pale shade of pink that blushed deeper as it traveled from chest to train. It matched Micah’s earrings perfectly. 

It was the decorations that Glimmer was most proud of, though. Anything that would hold still long enough was covered in silver stars, plush fabrics colored like a sunset sky, and the slightest hint of gold, especially right where one might least expect it. 

As Glimmer descended the stairs to the hall, she felt impossibly light, as though she really was walking among clouds on a warm June evening. Adora trailed after her, Catra just behind her, tugging on the back of Adora’s dress. Glimmer had not expected to be friends with Adora, or the nearly hazardous sparks that would fly when she introduced her to Catra, but right now there was no one else she would rather want peering out the glass doors to the backyard, excitedly whispering that it wasn’t yet time for Glimmer to walk out. 

“Thank god it’s clear,” Adora said. “I was totally prepared for it to rain.”

“It’s June,” Catra said, bumping Adora with her hip. She craned her neck, looking at the sky. “It is beautiful, though,” She added in a softer voice. 

It was sunset. Bow and Glimmer spent absurd amounts of time pouring over almanacs so that they could choose the best date, the best hour, so that they could get married at sunset. Pretty much every wedding planner they talked to carefully tried to dissuade them from choosing such a specific moment. It would be gone much too soon, it relied on everything to go to perfectly, and it could be a disaster. 

But they didn’t plan for it to go perfectly, and they didn’t care if the sun wasn’t in the exact right place when Glimmer walked down the aisle. They simply wanted to try. 

Catra opened the door and ushered Glimmer through with completely unironic chivalry, the light strains of the wedding march on the breeze. The garden was gilded, with pink and red highlights on every shadow. It was breathtaking. Made even more so that something Glimmer thought was a longshot, a gamble, was truly paying off. 

And then she saw Bow. 

It’s not that he was beautiful, except of course he was beautiful. His perfectly cut suit and the sunset only accentuated how perfect every inch of him was.

But Bow was perfect every day, at every hour, carefully planned clothes and lighting or not. 

It was the knowledge that not only did they love each other, they were about to say it, in front of so many people they loved. They would promise to say it again and again, to mean it forever. It was not some dewy-eyed daydream, either, it was real and Glimmer wanted it so bad she barely noticed walking down the aisle. 

Glimmer definitely said some vows, and Bow definitely said some too. Not whole speeches, just a little personal embellishment. A three hour dissertation wouldn’t put it into words, so they agreed to just say a few little things that they meant. 

And then Octavia said, “You may now kiss-” and she didn’t even get to the ‘each other’ they asked her to say before they were kissing. It was almost as short and chaste as the kiss they shared in this garden fifteen years ago. Glimmer remembered that kiss as quick, forceful, and sweaty. Her nerves very nearly got the better of her that night, and for every bad thing that happened in the years since, she’s very glad they didn’t. 

This kiss? 

It was practice made perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this pic since you got all the way here!   
> Comments are always appreciated!  
> Follow me @sheepydraws


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